Found in the on-line comments on a Guardian article on Abbott/Pyne and Gonski. Might I suggest that Colin Barnett's clock would make a good back-up ceiling fan.
A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone who has ever been on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move."
"Oh," said the man. "Whose clock is that?"
"That’s Mother Teresa’s," replied St. Peter. "The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"
St Peter responded, "That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where’s Tony Abbott’s clock?" asked the man.
St Peter replied, "We are using it it as a ceiling fan."
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